If you’re familiar with fakeRICH you would know that it was started with three main guys. Mike, who I’m sure you see everywhere. He’s the heart of fakeRICH. It’s his baby. Mark. Well he is Mark…he is currently working on other projects which would probably make what you’re doing look amatuer. And then there’s me, Joe. I was the other guy. I handled all the real thinker type stuff.

However, you may have noticed that I’ve been pretty much non-existent lately. This letter that follows will explain why. Please read it if you have the time. Thanks guys. Love you! Not you, Mark.

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Dear Friends,

Before you read this you should know that I have an ulterior motive. My goal with this letter is to get you to help me. I’ve been sick for nearly two years, and I have refused to ask for help from anyone outside of my immediate family. It’s become clear lately, that I will need more help and I hope you can lend me your support in some way. (I should mention, this is a long letter, if you already know my situation and would like to know how you can help just skip down to the bottom.)

About two years ago I had my first experience with Vertigo. Out of nowhere, my world felt like it was spinning, literally. I felt like I was on a rollercoaster or someone spun me around in an office chair and told me to walk. I was so overtaken with fear that I had a panic attack. It didn’t help that it occurred in a public place. My girlfriend at the time had to drive home her crying dizzy boyfriend who thought he was dying. It was the first time anyone has ever seen me like that.

Once I got home I did everything I could to find some way to stop the spinning, nothing worked. I ended up just crying all day and night as panic attacks came and went. That night I prayed for the first time in years. Asking God to stop the spinning. That day was easily the worst day of my life.

In the following weeks I was able to get a handle on the anxiety and panic attacks. The vertigo also seemed to be less severe, yet it was still there and nearly constant. I went and saw some doctors. Each one I went to didn’t seem too concerned and suggested I just wait it out. Their reasoning was that Vertigo itself is usually a symptom of something else and that whatever the underlying problem was, it would pass.

I was given some medications and told to setup appointments.

In the meantime, I tried to stay as active as possible. I had to quit my job. I wasn’t able to sit at a computer for too long anymore and my job required that I did. I also had to quit school for the same reason. I was working on transferring to a University with either a double-major in Economics and Computer Science or minoring in one or the other.

I put my life’s plan on hold for what I thought would be a temporary situation. It was extremely sad not to be at work or working towards my goals in life, but sometimes that’s what is needed in order to move on. So I took an unwanted break.

Well the break went on for a month, then two, then before I knew it half a year had past. My vertigo didn’t go away, in fact it seemed to be getting worse. However, I learned to deal with it enough that I wasn’t always stuck at home.

I got out and saw my friends every chance I had. I did my research on the causes of vertigo, which can range from a common cold to tumors to concussion syndromes to just about anything. Nothing really seemed to apply to me.

Now a year passes and I’m still not getting better. It’s getting worse. The anxiety has come back. Whenever I got severe bouts of vertigo the anxiety would follow. Like two bullies at school these guys would get together making it nearly impossible for me to have any confidence. I was leaving the house less and less. And now the bills were piling up. All the money I had saved had been slowly draining going to pay medical bills, living expenses, insurance. I didn’t expect this to last as long as it did, but it was looking more and more like it was never going to end.

Fast forward to today.

Today I didn’t leave my house at all. I didn’t even step outside. When I’m standing for too long I’ll get vertigo and have a panic attack. The attacks now no longer have to be associated with a severe bout of vertigo. Just leaving the house will cause it. Even getting out of bed to shower is an ordeal. When I lean my head back to rinse the shampoo out I start spinning. I fight through it, thinking maybe I just need to push through this one more time to force the vertigo away. It never goes away.

When I watch TV I get vertigo if the picture is moving too much. When I sit at a computer to type (like I am doing now) it takes me several sessions of starting and stopping, with laying down in between to finish (this letter had to be completed over the last two days). I’m only a shell of what I used to be. It’s made me very sad.

It’s so tough to fight through something when you don’t know what’s causing it. It’s akin to being in a room and then having someone shut off the lights. There’s that first moment of terror as you try to figure out why the lights went out. Then the fear lingers because you still dont know why the lights are out. However, if you walked into the same darkened room knowing that it was going to be dark you wouldn’t have that fear.

I’m stuck in a spinning world and I can’t stop it. Not being able to find an answer as to why this is occuring has left me completely broken. My days bleed into one long day, like the movie Groundhog Day. I Wake up, I do the same thing I did yesterday, I go back to sleep. It’s completely depressing especially when you consider that I was never one to do the same thing every day.

I used to go on bike rides and skateboard. I’d play basketball with my friends (though I’ll admit that I wasn’t any good. I went camping and would pretend I knew something about the outdoors. I had a job that offered different challenges each day. I joined the Military years ago just for the fun of it. I went to school everyday hating that I had homework but loving that I was learning something new everyday. And now I’m stuck.

I need to stop this cycle and I need your help to stop it. I need your help to become the person I could be. The smiling Joseph with big dreams and goals and the ability to achieve all those goals. I just turned 27. At this point I imagined myself attempting to help change the world, working towards my goals and being a good person.

I really need your help. I’m tired of doing nothing, I want to fight this with every part of my being and I would love if you came along for the journey.

My goal is to get well enough to get back to a more normal life again. While I don’t expect that I will ever fully recover, I know that I don’t need to fully recover to be functional and content.

Sitting in my room not doing anything and just waiting is not the way I want to spend my days. I am not this person who sits here and is victimized by some unknown illness. My life has always been one of action. I’ve sat on my hands long enough. I need the help of my friends and family and their friends and your friends.

I’ve had so much pride that I never wanted to ask for help. I always thought I could handle anything on my own and if I didn’t I was weak. But I’m learning that real weakness is fear. Asking for help may appear as a weakness to some, but the end result would make me stronger. I would be deeply grateful if you were a part of the help I need to make me strong again.

Below, I’ve listed some of the ways you could help. What I’ve written above is only the short story, if you need more details or would like to as me any questions please feel free to contact at the email address below. I look forward to hearing from you.

Sincerely, Your Friend,

Joseph R. Garza

How You Can Help

Money: At the moment I have very little funds and very little access to getting more money. If you could help with money it would go towards my medical bills, past and upcoming, and living expenses (To help with bills at home and to get a phone. I have been without a phone for a couple months, and it makes keeping in touch with people extremely difficult).

The amount of debt I have is rather large, at least by my standards. If you need specifics let me know.

Regarding the phone; I am hoping to use a pay as you go plan via MetroPCS. If you have an old Verizon or Sprint CDMA phone that you would like to donate it would help a lot.

Healthcare: I am working on getting coverage through the VA, however I would like to be able to talk to someone regarding my issues outside of the VA or any Government program. I haven’t had much luck with doctors. In my experience they have brushed off my concerns without giving me proper explanations. It’s nerve-racking and disheartening when I can’t even have a decent conversation with a doctor because their next patient is waiting. I really think that if someone were willing to listen to my concerns fully I would be able to find an acceptable solution to some of my medical issues.

If you know a Doctor who would be willing to help me or that you would recommend I see I would greatly appreciate it.

Also, if you know of any programs I should look at please send me the info and I’ll be glad to take a look.

Legal: With all the problems I’ve had I haven’t been able to keep up on payments. Daily, I am getting voice-mails (I have a google voice phone number that accepts voicemail) about past due payments and other issues. In short, I just don’t know how to handle it. I need someone with the knowledge to deal with these issues.

It would also help to get my disability insurance going if I had lawyer in case I run into any problems.

This last thing may sound funny, but it’s important to me.

Computer Equipment: In order to maintain any sort of sanity I need to keep busy. Even though I am not able to work at the level I did before I am still very proficient when it comes to computers. What I have been trying to do is collect old or used computers and computer parts (Computers, LCD Screens, Keyboards, Networking Devices, Electronics and Miscellaneous Computer parts) to build working computer setups to give away or donate to organizations that could use them.

What I have been trying to do is take the parts I get and put together a full system; Computer, Monitor, Keyboard, and Mouse then load them with whatever OS I can legally install and any programs I can legally install. With the goal of giving the computers to people or groups who could use them and otherwise would not be able to get a system. It helps me keep busy and pass on the good by doing this. If you can help with this it would be great.

Finally, you can pass this message on to anyone who might have an idea or might be willing to help. Please retweet this, or re-post via facebook or myspace. Pass it on in e-mails. Please just help me work towards a resolution.

If you have any other ways you would like to help please feel free to do it. I am open to any and all suggestions. Also if you have any questions regarding anything here or would like some more details filled in feel free to e-mail me.

Ways To Contact Me

Email: joseph.r.garza@gmail.com

(If you e-mail me please put “Help Joe” as the subject. Wouldn’t want anyone going to the spam folder.)

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